Jimmy, my Soul-mate by Carolyn, U.S.A.
My JImmy was part of me .. My Jimmy became part of my soul and If I did one thing wrong in loving him maybe it was not loving him as much as he deserved – because until he passed in July 2016 .. I had not truly realized how much a part of my soul he had become. Every day when I came home from work and i have a great but exhausting career .. I would get changed from my work clothes into my yard clothes .. and Little Jimmy would come into my bathroom with his bone and he would lay there and eat it .. he did this every single day .
His brothers would follow and get their kisses but they would leave and he would stay and I would sing to him as I got changed. Every day we would then go out into the yard and put the blanket out ( unless there was snow ) and we would lay on the blanket. JImmy loved to play with the ball and i would toss it and he would do bring it back. He loved it – made him so filled with joy.
When he lost his ability to walk and run several years ago .. I nursed him back to health… and he again walked for several years .. no problems / Then it began again this year .. nursed him back ..back then I had no money to take him to be seen so I did what I knew and he was okay ..
That last bout before this one .. he came back slower but he was older also .. This last time we took him to the vet and all they did was extend his suffering because with ALL the machines and testing etc they did and charged me thousands of dollars for .. they did not know . And this is not about money . This is about he was a real baby to me .. my other child.
My only mistake was not realizing how big a part he was of me … and I am sad beyond any knowing it was possible . Then I realized over the years of tragedies of almost losing my daughter .. losing my father and then losing my son in law .. Jimmy and his tiny body had taken on so much of my pain and the pain of all . He was a true little tiny healer. He had aged so much faster than his brothers. His face had become white and his body was twisted with age beyond his years. He simply was tired.
When he was in the animal hospital fighting for his life .. Michael my other half said he felt that Jimmy had taken on all their pain and he was simply done.. There was one dog a police dog – Mike said when that dog came him they pushed Jimmy aside and they had all focus on that dog because the police had left him in the police car in 85 degree weather and he was dying… Mike said he felt Jimmy was helping that dog .. and it was too much .. he had been doing better – looking better and the next day down again ..
I did get to see him before he passed .. it was 1am and they told us he was fading very fast we rode out and he was all hooked up and he felt me come in and when I held his head he kissed me .. Mike held him then I held him again and he faded and that was it. The vet who was on over night was so caring and wonderful He kept saying Ohh so sadly. He unhooked Jimmy and he wrapped him in a beautiful cloth of burgundy color . I got to hold him for a very long while – as they got our paperwork together, I rocked him and talked to him and sang his little song.
We went home .. Mike rocked him and then I did .. we buried him in our yard with his other friends Sissie and Norman the cat and Susie Q Mikes kitty …I miss him so very much .. and as I said I never ever knew before this with all the dogs and cats I have had .. how much that one special pup could fill your life with love . I have had dogs my whole life some amazing ones – but he was actually like my child. I called him my Jimmy – my Yiimmy .. my Jinsom and My Yinsom LOL .. and I made a little rhyme up for him … and I sang it to him after he began to get sick ..
He loves the grass he loves the trees,,,,,,He loves to chase the birds and bees…… He loves to run out in the breeze … he is my little Yimson weed.. He’s happy , He’s sweet and doesn’t care, … If he is the only one who’s there….. to run and set his feelings free… he is my little Yimson weed…… He has the sweetest face I know… I pray they he may never go ……. and leave this place and leave me alone …. But Life is Fleeing soon he will be free … I love My Little Yimson weed .. Be free my little Yimson weed…
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